Ethics are the moral guides of right and wrong upon which we base the decisions that drive our lives.   I was raised with the concept that an ethical person only has one set of ethics.  That the ethics that guide my personal life are only valid so long as they guide my business life and my social life as well.  Otherwise, I am fooling myself about what my ethics are.

How does this relate to Mr. George Reeder?  Well, I recently got to hear Mr. Reeder discuss his business as our BNI (Business Network International) meeting.  Mr. Reeder has owned George’s Carpet One in Lodi, California, for quite some time.  He has also had some serious ups and downs with a second store.  What friends of Mr. Reeder know is that he has stepped up to the plate to restore lost faith and funds when others were swindled by ne’er-do-wells in the flooring industry. 

What I love most of all about George’s story is that it shows what his personal ethics are all about.   He is an upstanding member of our community, both in business and in general.  If George gives his word, he’ll do everything in his power to uphold that; even at cost to himself.  

And he is not alone.   There are still lots of us honest business people about. From time to time we may take it on the chin when someone claims they are due extra services or considerations.   However, over the long haul, spelling ethics with a G pays off in terms of respectability and increased business, and HUGE customer loyalty.

Thanks, George, for being willing to stand up and make things right where others have made them wrong.  You are an example to be followed.

But my story doesn’t begin there.

To the right is a picture of me with Dr. Misner taken in 2007 when I attended the BNI  International Directors Conference in San Diego, CA.

But we need to go even further back than that.

In 2005, I was a new business owner.   I had had some pretty radical changes in my personal life that had caused me to hang up my full-time hat as a homemaker and enter the world of the entrepreneur.   I discovered through that painful process a business that engaged my head, my heart and my hands:  massage.  

When, after six months, I decided to move my practice closer to home to be more available for my family, things changed.   I had been able to build up a pretty solid book of business in very short order in the previous city.  I wasn’t afraid to go out and spend my time and money to let the world know that I was in business.  It was a business built on shoe leather and a shoelace.   Those around me were truly amazed at how quickly my business grew.  And that in spite of the fact that I only worked from 8 am to 2 pm.   The reason?  I was now a single mom trying to take care of myself and my children.

So when the opportunity came to cut down the drive time and to be closer to home, I took it.   But I learned the fast way that not all communities are the same.   I went out and distributed flyers.   And I didn’t get discouraged when business didn’t come flooding in after the first attempt, or the second, or the fifth even.   But one thing was becoming painfully clear, I would need a new approach.

That’s where Dr. Misner comes in and makes an impact that would change my life.  An acquaintance (not yet a friend in my sense of the word), had had her own calamities occur that had caused her home-based business to drop way off.   If you sell Mary Kay (she did) and you can’t make your deliveries due to two broken ankles, things tend to slow way down.  But Debbie Ruiz was never one to take a set-back lying down.   Debbie had heard of BNI, Business Network International, and she was bound and determined to bring it to our little, loveable town of Lodi, CA.   And to make it happen, Debbie needed others to become involved.   And Debbie knew that I was in need of help to grow my business.

So I met John Lisle, who is an Executive Director in BNI.   I was a little skeptical of it all and let John know so at our first meeting.   No problem for John.  In a very gentle and kind manner, John invited me to stay and hear about BNI.  After learning about the structure and the success that others had enjoyed in BNI I was willing to take a risk.   So I spent every dollar in my checking account (did I tell you business had fallen off and I was getting low on funds?). 

In my chapter at the beginning was an array of local business people:  Larry Underhill (Statesman Realty), a title company representative, the late Jeff Kim (SaveOn Websites), Al Wheaton (A&B Handyman Services), a New York Life representative, etc.   All in all, we started with 14 people.   And those 14 people became 20, then 30 and then 40.

Most importanly, those 13 other people really committed to getting to know me.  They took me and my fledgling business under their wings.   They helped to get word out about my services and built my business and my reputation.  They took my name into places that I couldn’t go and put me in front of people that I didn’t know.  Within a few years, I was recognized as one of the top practitioners in my field.  And that recognition came not only because of my passion and expertise, but very much because of the commitment and assistance from those business partners I gained through BNI.

So how is it that Dr. Misner has made such an impact?   Well because 25 years ago, he found himself in a situation not completely unlike mine.   His business included a very large client who decided not to renew on the contract.  Suddenly Dr. Misner had lost a very large portion of his business income.  And yet he still had to meet payroll, rent and, of course, the mortgage and other bills of his personal life.  Dr. Misner needed contacts that would help to rebuild his business.

So, out of his own need, Dr. Misner began a networking group.   That single group suddenly became 2 groups, then 6, then 10, then 20.   Today BNI is the world’s largest networking organization with chapters on every populated continent.  Each day, it seems new countries are coming onboard with chapters.  And in every area it is the same story, first 1 chapter, then 2, then 6, then …

So is this all about business?  Hardly.  You see, what really attracted me to this organization was the quality of the people involved.  John Lisle trusted the value of BNI to sell itself; no hard sell there.   Larry Underhill was someone I had met briefly when I first came to Lodi and in a business that then had lots and lots of sharks, Larry stood out as a consumate professional and a gentleman.   Indeed, Debbie Ruiz is now one of my closest friends and she is the kind of friend who will go to hell and back with you.

I have developed friendships that have meant people I turn to with questions about business, child-rearing, and other matters of life.   And my children have gained as well.  My daughter is now a senior in high school.  About to launch into her own life, she has a background already rich in good contacts with people from all kinds of walks of life.  My 16 year old son has ideas about business and politics that are far beyond those most young men his age entertain.

So thank you, Dr. Misner.  You built something grand out of the difficulties that life handed you.  It has endured and grown over the past 25 years.   And you live a life of “Givers Gain”   Every contact I have had with Dr. Misner has truly enhanced my belief that those who are passionate about what they do, especially as it means helping others, will be rewarded with rich and full lives.

For those who missed seeing Dr. Misner live in Sacramento last week; my sympathies.   But we will be hosting Dr. Misner again in a couple of years.  He has already made that promise to us.  So watch for it and take advantage of your opportunity to get to meet a world-renowned author, businessman and one truly genuinely nice guy.

 23It was necessary, then, for the copies of the heavenly things to be purified with these sacrifices, but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these. 24For Christ did not enter a man-made sanctuary that was only a copy of the true one; he entered heaven itself, now to appear for us in God’s presence. 25Nor did he enter heaven to offer himself again and again, the way the high priest enters the Most Holy Place every year with blood that is not his own. 26Then Christ would have had to suffer many times since the creation of the world. But now he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of himself. 27Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, 28so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

So, the famed temple of the Israelites was a foreshadowing.  It is the representation (copy) of the heavenly altar.  And the sacrifices made by the High Priest were likewise foreshadowings of the representation of the final sacrifice that would be made by Christ.

New thoughts from the ancient source.

Hebrews 5:7-9 (New International Version)

 ⁷During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. ⁸Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered ⁹and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him

The image of the lamb is that of the perfect sacrifice.  It is perfect love which gave itself completely for me and for you.  And this lamb was not only perfect, but lived in the same flesh and blood as you and I. 

The natural lamb was an incomplete sacrifice as it was only good for the moment of the sacrifice.  The song, “Worthy is the Lamb” discusses that one sacrifice and only one would be acceptable for all of us and for all time.

Best of all, to me, is that the forgiveness that is available by the sacrifice made by the Lamb of God is freely given to all mankind.  And the Lamb of God loves each of us.  And the Lamb of God knows and understands our hurts, humiliations, temptations and frustrations.  We receive forgiveness of sins but also understanding of the world in which we live and the emotions we have and the weakness of our flesh.  And that understanding includes love.

Thank you.

December 8, 1991, 6:30 am.  “Congratulations!  It’s a girl!!!!!”   I laughed, I cried and I just couldn’t wait to see her. 

For 34 weeks I had been carrying this person inside me.  I had been nauseated, tired, stretched, on the great bathroom tour and finally completely exhausted by 27 hours of labor — back labor.   I hadn’t “peeked” so I didn’t know what sex this child is.  I wanted a girl so badly that it made me just certain I was carrying a boy.  A little girl to cuddle, to coo with, to smile at,  and to dress in frilly lacy little clothes.  And she was finally here (6 weeks early)!  Healthy weight, breathing and responding!!!!!    I still tear up in joy and wonder!

So now we fast-forward 22 months.  Again, I haven’t peeked.   I really don’t care if this one is a son or a daughter.  Of course, I have LOTS of pretty little dresses and such.  As I go into labor, I realize that I have forgotten one thing — — I had picked out a boy’s name and a girl’s name before my daughter was born.   I already know what name I will give my son; but if I have another daughter?  Oops.  So the beginning stages of labor were marked with time notes and combinations of names. 

Now it’s 6:30 pm (what is it with 6:30 and these kids?).  This time it’s a c-section.   I have already endured a full labor to discover that my hips are not wide enough this time.  Amazing to feel no more pain once the epidural is administered.  My husband is a two-time champion now as we get ready to go to the operating room.  Incredible to be awake for this procedure.   Then, the most astounding, most welcome news I think I have ever heard:  “Congratulations, it’s a boy!!!   And a big, beautiful, healthy boy at that!”   I started crying and announcing to my husband (who I am pretty certain had already heard), “We have a son!  We have a son now!!!”

You know, I can’t believe how it still chokes me up with pride and delight.  My daughter is now a senior in high school.  She is beautiful, incredibly intelligent and as gentle as spring rain.  She soothes my spirit and fills me with tender pride.

My son is soon to get his driver’s license (we all hope).  I watch him grow bigger and stronger each day.  What a handsome, intelligent man he is becoming.  It almost hurts my heart I am so filled with pride and delight.  

Both of these children will soon be ready to move into their independent lives.  I am so glad to have memory after memory tucked away in my heart.  They may leave behind empty rooms, but they have filled my life with love and laughter and challenge and surprise.  And I am so excited to see what the next chapters hold for all of us!

Please, share with me, what is a favorite memory of yours?

So?  I don’t watch the news, I don’t read the paper and I try to indulge in uplifting conversation whenever possible.  Imagine this, the economy is turning around.  Children are growing up just fine, learning to read and become responsible adults.  Spouses are staying committed to one another and their children.  Businesses are not out to cheat the buying public.

Good news everyone.  My two children are growing up just fine.  They make lots of mistakes.  They get that from me.  It’s how we explore and learn and grow.  They are wonderfully bright with lots of original thoughts and good hearts.  They aren’t perfect, but I figure that’s genetic too.

I see so many cars on the roads.  That means lots of gas is being sold.  And these cars are carrying people who are going on about the business of life — running errands, buying groceries and other items, being involved in sports and other activities.  Perhaps we have become a little more conscientious about our spending and that is a good thing.  I believe our economy is coming back into a balance again. 

My parents have been married for almost 50 years now.  They, of course, have always enjoyed smooth sailing (well almost).   Today my twin and her husband are celebrating the continuing commitment they made 16 years ago.   My very dear friends just celebrated their anniversary last weekend.  My next door neighbors have been married since they were of legal age and still going strong.  So I know lots of folks who are living the commitments they made without question and with lots of love and determination! 

Today I see blue skies, a nice breeze and people I know and care about.  Rise and Shine!   It’s optimism time!